Help Two Disabled Queer Partners Escape the Deep South
My partner and I are a queer, disabled couple trying to finally leave the deep red South, where it’s becoming increasingly unsafe to exist — especially as a GNC person, a woman, and as organizers. We’ve fought hard to stay afloat while planning our exit for years, but we’re still stuck and running out of options.
I finished school in 2024. We were so close to making it out then, planning to leave when I graduated. My partner had been working at the same job for a decade, and I had borrowed the max in student loans to cover tuition and help with living expenses until I could graduate, take my professional exam, and start working in public interest. But right after I graduated, I had to have surgery, which we are still paying for, and then my partner’s company laid off 95% of the staff — including my partner — with almost no notice.
We both searched for work for months (both in our fields and just trying to get anything), but had no luck for most of last year and the first half of this year. We had no income, no insurance, and no family nearby. We got four months behind on rent, relied on friends and credit cards for things like groceries, gas, and taking care of our pets, built up an unbelievable amount of medical debt from ER visits for untreated chronic conditions, and have defaulted on student loans. My partner has needed surgery for nearly 2 years, but we can’t even begin to consider funding that (mine was more urgent, over 5 years of needing it, so we had to fund it first unfortunately).
We both finally found jobs at the end of April, and we’re covering our basic monthly expenses now. But the debt we’ve accumulated is so suffocating, and ever increasing bc of interest, that we still can’t move or meet our monthly payments for all the debt — even though staying here is dangerous for us. Even if we maintain our current income, it could take years to get out. We’re still four months behind on rent, and our landlord (who has been understanding so far) has made it clear we can’t fall further behind. On top of that, though my disability is covered under the ADA, the accommodations I need (remote work) do NOT count as reasonable under the ADA and since the nation is largely pretending COVID no longer exists, it’s becoming increasingly harder to find remote, or even hybrid, jobs. So I’m working full time on site, and commuting 2 to 3 hours a day depending on traffic (we live in a small, very conservative town about an hour away from a big city which is where the job is). This has been EXTREMELY hard for my disability and I’ve already had to take off (unpaid leave) a total of 5 days at a job I’ve only had for 5 weeks (which they don’t love, but they’re pretending to be somewhat understanding because I disclosed my disability upon hire).
We’re not just trying to escape — we’re trying to rebuild and give back. I’ve devoted myself to public interest and abolitionist work, and once I’m FINALLY able to afford the thousands of dollars needed for my professional licensing exam, I can begin that career and continue organizing through my work. We have been regularly organizing where we live (well, the big city that’s an hour from us) for over 3 years now (though almost all the friends we worked with have moved out of state now) and will continue doing that work wherever we go.
We want to move to the PNW, for safety, *better healthcare access*, public transportation (nonexistent in the small rural town we’ve been stuck in) and honestly just happiness (at least more than we could ever have here where my partner can’t even present authentically in public).
Also one of our biggest goals is for my dog. He is almost 11 years old and ADORES the snow — it’s only snowed here three times in his life. I want him to see more of it before he’s gone. I know it may seem silly to mention that part, but he is my world.
We know there are so many people who need help — many with more urgent or life-threatening needs — and if you feel your funds are better directed elsewhere, we fully understand. But if you’re moved help us even put a dent in our debt, it could be the difference between staying stuck indefinitely or finally starting the life we’ve been fighting for. And we will never stop paying it forward — through continued mutual aid, organizing, our work, etc.
Thank you, truly, for donating, sharing, or even just reading this ️⚧️️